Logical arguments force us to accept a certain conclusion whether we like it or not, but soulful persuasion attracts us to a position. Genuine persuasion is about engaging rather than insisting.

Personal dispositions that can make you persuasive fall into four main categories. First, persuasive people are original. When they speak, you sense they are coming from a place of authenticity and honesty and that you’re getting a glimpse of the real, unique them—not some prepackaged version designed to please you. For people who possess this virtue, their thoughts and actions are motivated by a deep understanding of who they are, always being themselves and building deep, long-term commitments; they are not motivated by the desire for short-term gains. Second, persuasive people are generous. They give habitually and without expecting things in return. I’m not just talking about money or physical gifts. Persuasive people also are generous with advice, opportunities, introductions, respect, and emotional positivity. You never get the impression that they are just looking out for themselves. Third, persuasive people are empathetic. They are naturally curious about other people and seek out engaging conversations that delve past small talk into topics that genuinely matter to others. People of this sort are skilled collaborators and possess an outlook that emphasizes our common humanity, not our differences. Finally, persuasive people are soulful. They hold themselves to their own self-imposed ethical and personal standards, always strive to be better, and motivate others to push beyond their normal limits. They are sources of inspiration for those around them. As a result, they possess a personal authority that makes them naturally influential. I’ll explore these four principles in detail while focusing on the eleven specific habits that fall out of these larger principles, how they contribute to persuasion, and what each of us can do to develop and strengthen them.

Original

Turn and face the strange

Character Is King. Persuasion is about personal character, not facts or argument. The most powerful modes of persuasion don’t have much to do with evidence, argument, or logic. In fact, often what persuades people isn’t the substance of what’s being said but the source—in other words, the person saying it. Aristotle knew this more than two millennia ago. As he put it, “We believe good men more fully and more readily than others … [A speaker’s] character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion he possesses.”

The first step in developing a persuasive character is learning to be unapologetically yourself.

In most situations where we are trying to be persuasive, our instincts lead us in the wrong direction. We try to hide those parts of ourselves that we assume the other person won’t appreciate. And we say and do things we think will make us more attractive to our audience. We smile more than usual or act excited about something we don’t really care about. We speak in more formal language than we normally do in real life. Put simply, we try to fake it till we make it.

Turning off your filter and showing a little psychic skin can give you a real leg up when you’re trying to sway your audience. There are a number of reasons why this works. First, an original human being—with real likes and dislikes, out-there interests, and surprising obsessions—is something other people can recognize and relate to, whether they fully identify with that person or not. After all, diversity is the one thing we have in common. Also, you become memorable, a known quantity, and that makes you far more trustworthy than someone who seems to be putting on a show. It also gives you a chance to share a part of yourself and tell personal stories.

When you let your freak flag fly, it shows the other person that they are trusted, respected, and welcome. And you also welcome hearing about their unique interests and obsessions.

Start by paying more attention to every interaction you have. What you’re looking for are instances when you say or do something that doesn’t reflect what you truly feel. Maybe you gave a half laugh at somebody’s off-color attempt at humor. Maybe you pretended to be way more happy or pissed-off by today’s weather than you really are. Maybe you stopped yourself from sharing something about yourself because you weren’t sure how the other person would react or feel about you. Most of us do these things automatically. And sure, each instance might be innocent enough. You’re just being polite, you tell yourself. Or you’re just trying to avoid confrontation, finish this awkward conversation, and get on with your life. But these little moments of insincerity can quickly add up to full-blown phoniness. At the very least, they are missed opportunities to show something about yourself that’s real.

Stop using language that waters down what we’re saying or suggests uncertainty. I’m talking about words and phrases like: maybe probably sort of I think I could be wrong I feel like … This might be a stupid idea, but … Just get rid of them. The same goes for throat-clearing introductory comments like “Can I ask you a question?” or “Let me bounce an idea off you.”

Storytelling

In today’s world, you have to relate to your audience in a more emotional, truthful, and soulful way if you want to make a connection. In this arena, facts and features alone simply don’t have what it takes. It’s storytelling that moves, connects, and creates meaningful bonds between brands and consumers. It’s storytelling that holds the greatest power of persuasion—and not just in the world of advertising.

When told well, a great story draws people into the narrative, absorbing them in a world that is separate from their own and creating an almost supernatural connection with the main characters. For a brief moment in time, the audience forgets themselves and begins to inhabit the story. You’ve experienced this yourself while watching an engrossing movie or getting lost in a novel. And once you’re immersed in a story, you’re far more willing to let your guard down and loosen your grip on preconceived notions.

When you persuade through storytelling, you don’t have to hit your audience over the head with your main point. As Green and Brock’s shopping mall experiments make clear, it’s enough for a story to just imply your main points, and the audience will get there on their own—so long as you give them the opportunity to do so. That’s crucial, because conclusions that we draw for ourselves will always be more powerful than the ones we are forced to accept. The beliefs I arrive at on my own are mine—they belong to me personally. And as a result, I’m usually much less willing to give them up when push comes to shove.

Start with a Simple Truth This one is obvious—if you’re trying to communicate an idea with a story, you need to know what that message is before you begin.

Great storytellers are also truth-seekers—their aim is to convey an essential human truth through narrative.

If you can’t state your message in a single uncomplicated sentence, you haven’t got one. And if you’re trying to communicate more than one message with a single story, then you’re likely to lose your audience. Complex stories that allow for multiple interpretations might make for great literature or art, but they aren’t good vehicles for persuasive messaging.

Stick to a Classic Structure The story also conforms to a basic structure that’s as old as storytelling itself. In its simplest form, that structure looks like this:

Collect Great Stories : Stories like these are all around; you just need to look for them and structure them. Maybe there’s an episode from your family history that’s particularly entertaining, or something crazy that happened to you on the way to work, or that time you and your friends went to Barcelona. Maybe it’s just a story you read or heard or saw on the evening news. Whatever the source, when you happen upon a truly great tale, write it down in as much detail as you can. Keep a notebook or a section of your notebook where you collect these stories. Once you’ve got the story on paper, you need to determine what its core message is. Take note of the idea or lesson that the story brings to life. The story might illustrate the importance of keeping promises, or seizing the moment, or doing your holiday shopping late. Regardless, the message should be obvious the first time you hear it. Over time you’ll only add to your collection of great stories. And the next time you’re trying to make a point about, say, seizing the day, you’ll have a great story to draw from.

Storytelling Is Editing : Once you’ve found a story that conveys your message and written it out in detail, you still need to make it into something that will hit home with your audience. That means editing. And when getting a story into shape, I like to ask three specific questions. Am I Giving My Audience All of the Right Information? Am I Painting a Vivid Enough Picture? Your goal is to transport your audience, so you need to give them enough specifics to ignite their imagination. This means finding opportunities to add details that bring the story to life. What Can I Cut? Anything in the story that doesn’t help to establish the goal, the obstacle, or the resolution can probably be cut. Rehearse. Memorize Your First and Last Line. Don’t Overlook Familiar Stories. It’s tempting to believe that great stories need to be original—or at least unfamiliar—in order to captivate their audience. But this isn’t always the case. In fact, recounting a story that your audience knows already can sometimes be more powerful than telling them one they’ve never heard. Just because a story is fairly well known doesn’t mean it can’t be a great vehicle for conveying a persuasive message. In some situations, familiarity is exactly what’s called for.

Human beings have been telling stories to one another since our earliest days on the planet—it’s one of the reasons we’ve survived as long as we have. Stories are the way we recount our history and communicate our values; they are how we structure new information and make sense of the world around us. So when you come across a powerful story, hold on to it—whether it’s a personal anecdote or a work of literature, a unique experience or a timeworn piece of popular culture. Make sure it has the goal, the obstacle, and the resolution. And make it your own. If your goal is to change minds and move people to action, learning to tell compelling, meaningful stories is essential—and will do you far more good than any amount of logical argument. Reason might reveal why we should believe a certain truth. But a well-told story does something even better: it transports us to a place where we can see or experience that truth for ourselves. As the psychologist Jonathan Haidt puts it, “The human mind is a story processor, not a logic processor.”

Never be closing

In that classic scene in the 1992 film adaptation of David Mamet’s play Glengarry Glenn Ross, Alec Baldwin’s character, Blake, stands before a room of salesmen and delivers a remedial course on the basics of salesmanship. His takeaway message: “A-B-C. Always be closing.” It’s a time-honored sales mantra that goes back decades, if not longer. It also happens to be completely wrong. In fact, the “always be closing” approach to sales is the enemy of soulful persuasion. This may have worked in the past, but today’s low-trust world demands an entirely different approach to persuasion. The basic presumption behind that infamous saying is that everything a person says or does in the course of persuading someone should be aimed purely at getting to yes. It’s about aggressively pushing your audience to make the decision you want them to make, whether it’s in their interest or not. It’s about finding a way to close the deal at all costs. This is short-term thinking at its crudest. It’s manipulative—and it doesn’t work. People don’t want to be forced into a decision; they want to make up their minds for themselves, on their own terms, for their own reasons, and in their own time.

Don’t Be a Brand—Be a Human Being At some point over the last couple of decades it became trendy for people to talk about themselves as brands. The concept may date back to 1997, when business magazine Fast Company ran a well-known article entitled “The Brand Called You.” 1 Since then, a belief in the persuasive power of cultivating one’s brand has hardened into conventional wisdom. Courses on “personal branding” have become business-school staples, but most people encounter the notion much earlier in their education. 2 College students are often taught that crafting a personal brand can help them land on their feet after graduation. And even high school seniors are advised to build personal “brand equity” to help win a spot at the college of their dreams. 3 The idea is that a carefully tailored perfect public image, and a consistent “brand voice” across all social media channels, can help a person sell themselves to the world. But as someone who works with top brands every day, I find this whole line of thought antiquated. The notion of “personal branding” is based on a conception of brands that no longer applies. In this view, brands are highly manicured corporate identities strategically designed to do only one thing: turn a profit. They are, in a word, transactional.

This isn’t what a brand is anymore. In fact, most of today’s brands are doing their best to get away from this idea.

The audience needs something else in order to be persuaded. They need to feel, intuitively, that the persuader cares about more than just getting a yes. Effective persuaders care about purpose. They are soulful.

Play the Long Game Transactions are about getting what you want; the long game is about forging relationships. “Always be closing” is about pushing people to do something; the long game is about pulling people toward your way of seeing things by engaging them on a human level.

In my experience, the most common relationship-killer is simple neglect. Taking steps to ensure that none of your relationships drop to zero—that you never lose contact with anyone for too long—is half the battle when it comes to keeping relationships alive. Here are a few techniques I use to make staying in touch a little more automatic. Set a Reminder. check in with the person, usually quarterly. It all depends on who the person is and what kind of relationship you have. But if they’re important enough to have in your contacts, then they’re important enough to stay in touch with.

Pick four people a week to touch base with. It doesn’t need to be a long email or phone conversation—it could just be a quick “I was thinking about X and that reminded me of you” text message. It could also be a face-to-face meeting or scheduled phone call.

Shift from Social to Personal. Next time you go to share a thought on social media—whether you’re tweeting out praise for a new TV show or liking an article on Facebook—don’t. Instead, go through your contacts and figure out who specifically would appreciate the recommendation or insight. Then send out a few emails or text messages aimed at individual people. In other words, use your thought to restart a personal conversation.

Generous

Give yourself away. Be the kind of person who naturally thinks about giving things away. Attempt to leave every person you encounter with something valuable that they didn’t have before they interacted with you—a useful piece of information, some helpful advice, a gift that advances them, anything that might be valuable for them. In a word, be generous.

Every time you interact with someone—whether it’s at a business meeting or at a family gathering, at a ball game or on a dinner date—try to give something away. Treat all of your encounters as a chance to be generous.

We should prefer to spread uplifting, life-affirming emotions rather than the alternative. But how do you put that preference into action—especially if it is not in your nature? In many instances, it boils down to a simple and easy-to-follow rule: When in doubt, highlight the potential upside of a given decision, instead of fixating on the downside.

Would you rather be told “You don’t call your mother enough, so pick up the damn phone once in a while!” or “Your mom loves it when you call—it would mean so much to her if you gave her a ring and brightened her day”? The first message is a vehicle for guilt. The second is an invitation to do something good for someone you love.

Instead of “You got this fact wrong in the report,” you can say, “This report is almost there, but can you double-check this fact? It doesn’t seem quite right to me.” Instead of “Your idea doesn’t make sense,” you can ask, “I don’t get it—can you help me to understand it better?” This last one is something I use all the time. It puts the emphasis on me, not on the idea, and it also forces the person to articulate the concept in its simplest form.

I do this by going in with an open mind and bringing energy to the table. But most of all, I do it by reminding myself that every meeting could potentially turn into something great. This is the truth. You might be meeting with a low-level accountant, the HR professional in charge of health insurance, or an unpaid intern and hear something new or interesting that eventually leads to an amazing breakthrough. Usually this doesn’t happen, but that doesn’t mean it can’t. And recognizing that this possibility exists is a great way to bring some positivity, optimism, and energy to an otherwise mundane situation.

Major events, whether personal or professional, can bring about a lot of anxiety. Think about the day before a big business meeting or job interview, presenting something in front of your class, or that moment right before you step onstage to give a toast before hundreds of people. In situations like that, it’s common for people to tell you to “calm down” or “relax.” But that’s terrible advice. You can’t turn off anxiety by sheer force of will. A better approach is to reframe that feeling as excitement—a sensation that, when you think about it, isn’t so far off from nervousness.

Maintaining a generally positive disposition carries a wide range of benefits that, taken together, can make you far more persuasive. People who are habitually positive—who reliably base their thoughts, beliefs, comments, and actions on their positive emotions—are the kind of individuals you want to have around. Their positivity can be infectious, rubbing off on you and making it easier for you to focus on the more uplifting aspects of your own life. They are more likable and more soulful, and as a result, we feel compelled to take their side whenever possible. But it takes practice and discipline for it to become second nature. The main tenets are: Be grateful. Criticize constructively. Bad can turn great. You might be wrong. Get excited. Internalizing these helps ensure that you bring a constructive, optimistic, engaging demeanor to all of your interactions. Remember, people surround themselves with people who reflect who they want to be and how they want to feel. Positivity breeds influence.

Empathetic

By its nature, persuasion requires engagement with people you disagree with. If you’re going to get anywhere, you need to first understand where your audience is coming from. You need to truly comprehend why they hold the positions they do, and get a sense of which of their beliefs are ironclad and which are negotiable. You need to meet them where they stand—not lecture them from a distance. This is why empathy is an absolutely essential trait for anyone hoping to practice soulful persuasion.

Empathy is the capacity to recognize and make sense of another person’s feelings—or, as we often put it today, it’s the ability to “get” another person. And it’s hard to deny that, when someone else gets us, it’s a whole lot easier to agree with them. That is why we have to attempt to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes to truly understand them. Unfortunately, empathy is in pretty short supply these days. There are plenty of theories why this is the case—could be social media algorithms or cable news or the fame monster. We are getting remarkably good at surrounding ourselves with ideas and arguments that confirm our preexisting views, and shutting out those voices that conflict with ours. A lot of us can go weeks without engaging with a worldview that is fundamentally different from ours.

On the whole, people enjoy talking about themselves and making themselves known in one way or another. But for a conversation to serve this purpose, people need to share things that are actually meaningful for them—and they need to get the sense that someone is actually interested. This is why it pays to be genuinely curious about other people and to let that curiosity drive your conversations. If you can develop this habit you’ll get a glimpse of them you might not have otherwise seen. When that happens, you’ll have given yourself the materials to understand their perspective.

Curiosity doesn’t just boil down to caring about something. It’s actually about suppressing your sense that you know everything worth knowing.

Curiosity takes flight when we recognize that we don’t know everything about a person, an event, or a political issue. And once we internalize this gap in our knowledge, it becomes like an itch that we need to scratch. It raises questions that we need answered. We become naturally curious. In the case of people specifically, a lack of curiosity usually results from the assumption that we’ve already met every kind of human being there is in the world, and that once we fit a new person into one of those categories, there’s nothing much left to know about them.

Think Outside the Group Another reliable way to cultivate your interest in other people is to break out of your group and spend some time with people that you wouldn’t normally hang out with. Your immediate community is no doubt full of interesting and compelling people. But if you really want to feel a sense of curiosity about other human beings, it helps to find situations where the people around you are unfamiliar in some more fundamental way. This might be as simple as going to a party that normally you’d skip because your friends bailed. It could also mean accepting your friend’s invitation to attend Sunday services at his church, even though you’re Muslim or you aren’t religious at all. Or maybe, instead of spending your vacation baking on a beach and sipping a cocktail, you follow in the footsteps of George Orwell and Nellie Bly and visit an unfamiliar part of the country with a culture that’s unlike any you’ve encountered. What, with luck, will become blatantly apparent is that these cultures are far more complex and surprising than anything you could have imagined. You’ll start to recognize how little you really knew about your friend’s church, or the Midwest, or the south of Spain. We all use these experiences as opportunities to deepen our understanding of our fellow human beings. Try to understand what motivates them, what their passions, fears, philosophies, and sources of meaning may be.

Listen More, Judge Less The biggest barrier to listening well is judgment. We all tend to overemphasize information that confirms our existing views. Psychologists call this confirmation bias. And it’s a powerful force that even the most fair-minded people succumb to all the time. To be a good listener, however, you need to leave your own preoccupations and pet theories at the door, especially when you’re talking to someone who holds a different view.

If you’re engaging in a conversation with someone who disagrees with you, the question you should start with is “Why would a smart, informed person hold this position? What am I missing about this idea that makes it so alluring to someone who is as intelligent (or maybe more intelligent) than I am?”

Ask How the Other Person Came to Hold Their Beliefs The beliefs we adopt are rarely based only on facts, logic, and argument. There’s almost always a deeper story. And to get to that story, it helps to inquire how the person you’re engaging with acquired their beliefs in the first place. Maybe it was an idea they were raised on. Perhaps they had a charismatic college professor who made a huge impression on them. Maybe they came to their conclusion after having a revelatory life experience. Look for signs of these deeper influences to ask about.

Look for Common Ground As you’re listening to someone else’s view, it’s essential to look for aspects of their position that you can get down with. For me, these areas of common ground are usually the big-ticket values that underlie their opinion. So try to figure out what those are. Maybe their view on immigration comes down to fairness. Maybe it’s about loyalty or generosity or sympathy. We all cherish these values to varying degrees. So if you can make the conversation about such universal concepts, you’re far more likely to understand where the other person is coming from.

Empathy and persuasion go hand in hand. If you’re attempting to move someone, you damn well better understand where they are coming from. The ability to take someone else’s perspective is hard enough when that person is already on your side. It’s even harder when the person you’re engaging with sees the world in a way that is fundamentally different than you do. It’s become so easy to stay inside our own bubbles—whether they are ideological, philosophical, cultural, or socioeconomic—that we’re tragically out of practice at seeing things from new perspectives. And, as a result, our ability to persuade people has taken a real hit. This doesn’t need to be the case. We can decide to be more empathetic. And we can do it by adopting two goals: Becoming naturally curious Listening more, judging less

Collaboration isn’t a technique for convincing people of your position—it’s a technique for inspiring them to convince themselves. It is a way to induce others to engage in what researchers call self-persuasion.

Not only can collaboration break down barriers and help us see each other as equals, but it can compel us to change our minds about fundamental issues more effectively than just an argument, slogan, or marketing campaign.

Asking someone to do you a favor is a remarkably effective way of getting them on your team. I know, it seems counterintuitive. After all, when someone does you a solid—driving you to the airport or saving you a seat at a meeting—most of us feel like we’re in that person’s debt. We owe them one, not the other way around. This is certainly true. But there’s more going on in these situations than we usually acknowledge. When someone has done you a favor, they’ve entered into a collaboration with you. For just a moment, they’ve played a part in advancing some project of yours. And in many situations, this brief instance of involvement actually leads them to like you more than they otherwise would have. Once you look for it, you’ll notice this principle playing out all over the place. You might be working on a laptop at a local coffee shop and ask the stranger next to you to watch your computer while you run to the bathroom. When you get back, I’d bet that person will be far more willing to shoot the shit with you than before they did you the favor. Same is true of a new neighbor who helps you up the stairs with your stroller at the end of a long day.

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.” 14 Today, this principle is called the Ben Franklin effect. By asking to simply borrow a book from this guy, Franklin turned him into a collaborator. The legislator, who before was openly hostile to Franklin, found himself invested in Ben’s well-being. They were on the same team.

I know it sounds strange to treat, say, even loaning someone a notebook during a meeting as a collaboration. But that’s kinda what it is. And instead of treating these small moments as inconveniences, you can see them as opportunities to forge a connection with a new person and get them on your team.

Similar benefits can be derived from asking for advice—which, when you think about it, is just a special case of asking for a favor. Again, this cuts against our intuition. We tend to feel as if asking for advice shows weakness or insecurity. But that’s the wrong way of looking at it. When you request someone’s advice, you’re asking them to contribute to something that’s important to you. You’re involving them in your project and inviting them to consider your interests for just a brief moment. In sharing their thoughts, they become your collaborator.

When you find yourself struggling with a decision that could use an outsider’s take, seeking advice can both make your choice easier and get you in the good graces of your counselor. It shows vulnerability and creates a bond.

Human beings have a natural tendency to see the world in terms of “us versus them.” This can be one of the biggest barriers to persuasion. But it can also be a major advantage to master persuaders. That’s because, in a whole host of situations, we are often predisposed to like and agree with people we see as part of our group in some sense—as one of us.

There are four collaborative skills for you to consider that are particularly powerful: Ask for small favors. Ask for advice. Give honest encouragement. Think outside the silo.

In the course of human history, it’s pretty exceptional that such a large group of people have agreed on so much for so long. Not to mention the fact that we all want a country that is a safe place to live, work, go to school, run a business, and raise a family. Our common humanity is easy to lose sight of, mostly because we are really good at dividing the world. But when it comes to developing a persuasive character, it’s crucial that you habitually focus on the things that unite each of us, instead of the things that divide us.

A disposition like this is essential to being approachable, relatable, and capable of talking to every person as an equal—regardless of each individual’s background, social status, wealth, age, gender, or any other fact about them. When you naturally see people as members of your team, others sense it and are willing to do the same.

When we put aside our differences and focus on our shared passions, amazing things can happen.

The path to becoming more approachable and better at conversing with a wider range of people starts with adopting an outlook that emphasizes human commonalities, and applying this outlook consistently. This means recognizing that we are all pretty much the same when it comes to the things that matter most.

To put it in different terms, it depends on whether you and your audience share what psychologists call a “social identity”—the part of a person’s self-image that is defined by which groups he or she belongs to.

Luckily, there are a nearly infinite number of ways that we can share a social identity, if we look for them. Depending on the context, a shared social identity can be based on anything from a shared language or a shared hobby to a shared age or a common city or state of origin. An outlook that emphasizes commonalities is more likely to bring these shared personal dimensions to the fore in our interactions with others.

Now, in the case of the Necker cube, the first time you see it, you’re likely to naturally favor one of the two options (either the left square is in front or it’s in back). It’s only after thinking that you can switch to the other perspective. And the same is true of our view of others. For some, their first-blush view of others is the “difference” view—even though they can shift to the “similarity” view with a little bit of effort. Ideally, your goal should be to flip this tendency, so that your first, unconsidered impression of other people is one in which your commonalities are at the forefront, and your differences are only apparent if you really look for them.

The first step toward adopting a commonality-based outlook is to make the choice to see people as mostly similar to you.

Adopting a commonality-based point of view is easy, so long as you’re willing to make the effort. That process begins with these techniques: Make the choice to emphasize similarities. Practice seeing shared traits. Call out points of agreement.

Soulful

What does your home-cooking technique or your violin chops have to do with persuasion? Well, if persuasion is about character, and your relationship to work is a window into your character, then quite a lot. This isn’t hard to see. The person who habitually cuts corners and settles for “good enough” in most things is never going to be very influential. In fact, “Who cares what he thinks?” would be a common response to such an individual. Now think of the professional athlete, celebrity chef, musician, or some other elite, highly skilled individual. Such people don’t just wield influence; they wield it in domains far beyond their own area of expertise. When they express a political opinion, it can be national news. When they recommend a book, endorse a sneaker, or boycott a brand, they can move markets.

Remarkably, the persuasiveness of such highly accomplished individuals has little to do with what we know about them personally. Oftentimes we have no way of judging how informed they are or how sound their judgment is or how honest they are. Instead, their influence flows from their relationship to their skill.

Unfortunately, the whole idea of skill-hunting is anathema to many of today’s most popular approaches to work. Just look at the rise of life-hacking. This philosophy involves adopting the right shortcuts to boost productivity with minimal effort. Everywhere you look, people are dispensing advice on how to maximize your efficiency by cutting out unnecessary work. This might involve using prewritten email templates to blast through your inbox, or listening to books on tape while you eat your morning oatmeal, or adopting a faster method for folding your laundry. Some of these can really come in handy, no doubt about it. And sometimes minimizing the amount of time you spend on mundane work will clear the space required for the more meaningful, skill-based activities. For instance, my good friend Tim Ferriss is a master at enhancing his efficiency in ways that make life more fulfilling. In fact, he’s a prime example of the kind of skill-hunting mindset I’m advocating. More than anyone else I know, Tim excels at breaking down complex skills in ways that enable him to master them quickly and deeply—whether it’s cooking, speaking a foreign language, dancing, or Chinese kickboxing. 3 He is on a constant skill hunt, and his insights and achievements continue to be a huge inspiration. Life-hacking is something different. The word “hack” comes from the tech world, where, according to one definition, it means “an inelegant solution to a problem. In this sense, a hack gets the job done but in an inefficient, un-optimal or ugly way.” 4 A hack might be good for the time being. And it might even save your butt when you’re in a jam. But I don’t think it’s a way to live. At the extreme, the whole idea behind this philosophy is that every second of your waking life should be used as efficiently as possible. We are more than just worker bees—we are people with passions and values and purposes and soul. And substituting for these sources of meaning with something as cold and mechanical as efficiency or productivity is soulless. Whom would you rather trust: the person who is always looking for a nifty shortcut, or the person who doesn’t mind putting in a little extra work when the situation requires it?

Whereas a task-based mindset focuses on just getting things crossed off, regardless of the process, a skill-hunting mindset values process as much as the finished product. The difference between task-based and skill-based approaches is the difference between learning a single great recipe, on the one hand, and studying the fundamentals of cooking, on the other; between cramming for an exam and mastering an area of knowledge; between counting calories and adopting a healthy, balanced diet. In fact, the concept of skill-hunting goes to the heart of soulful persuasion. This approach eschews tricks and shortcuts (task-based strategies) in favor of persuasion that results from deeply imbedded habits and character traits (skills). Once you embrace a skill-hunting outlook, it will change the way you attack all kinds of projects. You’ll stop focusing solely on results and start seeing activities in terms of the skills required to perform them well.

The Two-Year Skill Hunt This one is pretty straightforward. If you want to live a life defined by proficiency, you need to keep learning. And one way to do that is by picking up a major new skill every other year. Doesn’t matter if it’s photography, surfing, or knitting. What matters is that you’re genuinely motivated to learn it—not master it, but learn it. Again, Tim Ferriss is a great example here. He has turned the regular acquisition of new skills into a way of life. And it’s the main reason he has such a devoted following. Even people who don’t always agree with him still take him very seriously. And it’s because he shows a high level of seriousness in everything he does. If you do this for long enough, and with enough activities, you’ll become familiar with the patterns of acquiring a new skill, which in turn will make you better at learning and help you become a more skillful person in many different areas of your life. The biggest difficulty to get over is the period at the beginning where you will totally suck. If you get in the habit of learning new skills regularly, you’ll come to see that the seemingly hopeless early days are just an inevitable part of the process, and nothing to get frustrated over.

Straight Facts When it comes to persuasion, one of the most important abilities you can develop is that of handling facts skillfully and responsibly. People who are known for getting their facts right, and who excel at sorting good information from bad, are just more trustworthy and, as a result, more influential. When they speak, people listen, because what they’re saying is probably true. By contrast, someone who is careless with facts is inherently unreliable, almost by definition. It’s no coincidence that when defense attorneys are trying to undermine a witness’s story, they look for small inaccuracies in that person’s testimony. By doing this, these lawyers are

trying to portray the witness as someone who lacks a proper respect for factual accuracy and thus isn’t worth listening to . Learning to treat facts with a high level of respect requires conscious practice . Specifically , it requires a kind of learned vigilance that treats most information as suspect until you yourself have checked it out . Being conscientious about factual information also means developing the skills of a good researcher . If you’re going to cite a statistic or point to a historical example in conversation , be sure you’ve done the work to determine if what you’re saying is truly accurate . Even slipping up on a seemingly trivial matter of fact can have serious repercussions for your reputation and , thus , your persuasiveness . Simply because a piece of information isn’t important to you doesn’t mean it’s not important to your audience . And if someone in your audience is better informed than you on a certain topic and notices when you get big things slightly wrong , he or she will quickly form an impression of you as someone who plays fast and loose with the truth . That impression puts you at a huge disadvantage if your goal is to persuade . Most of the time , this due diligence won’t be noticeable — it will remain entirely behind the scenes . But the one time out of ten someone challenges you in a meeting , or asks a surprising question , you’ll be ready with the details . You will have developed a well – earned reputation as someone who knows what they’re talking about .

Striving to be inspirational in your daily life is one of the most powerful strategies for becoming a more persuasive person . There is no single path to becoming inspirational — as evidenced by the great diversity of people you are inspired

Of all the ways of persuading another person to action , inspiration is without a doubt the most profound , and in a lot of cases the most

powerful . If you can be a source of inspiration for others , you’ll rarely struggle to have your opinions taken seriously . Your views will carry the weight of authority . And people will go out of their way to grant your requests . You will have achieved a kind of influence that goes far beyond salesmanship or rhetoric or bargaining . It is a persuasive power that comes directly from your soul . Becoming a source of inspiration is a challenging , lifelong project . It involves constantly striving to act in accordance with your principles . Perhaps most important , inspirational figures have a highly developed capacity to resist the bystander effect and break away from the pack when their values demand action . The most inspirational people : Preach less and practice more Use their powers for good Seek out causes that advance their values Reach out to their heroes

The Last Word

Character Makes a Comeback There is a reason for optimism , because our current moment has also brought the importance of character to the fore . A number of social movements surrounding issues such as race , gender equality , and inclusiveness have started to raise expectations about the way we conduct ourselves in our private and public lives . Personal tendencies that were once ignored or at least tolerated — demeaning comments in the workplace , racism , bullying , and sexism — are being called out as unacceptable . At the same time , unethical business practices are also getting the close scrutiny they have long deserved . Old ways of doing things — whether it’s environmentally unsound manufacturing techniques , worker exploitation , or the careless and improper use of customer data — are chastised . The finished product or the bottom line is no longer the only thing that matters in the business world . The values that motivate a company and the way it conducts itself in the world — its character , in other words — is now a necessary component to long – term success . As a result of this modern cultural shift , influence is more closely tied to one’s character than ever before . It’s no longer enough to endorse the right beliefs with your words . You need to embody those beliefs in your everyday life : the way you treat those around you , interact with your community and colleagues , and show respect for those from different cultures , backgrounds , and traditions . Our new norms are just beginning to take shape . And there is still plenty of progress to be made .